Saturday, February 21, 2015

Weekend Ramblings

Do you ever have one of those weeks where it's just easier to not menu plan? That was this week for me. I sat down last Sunday night with my menu planning notebook and just hit a wall. So, instead of having a plan for every night, I went to the grocery store and bought a lot of general stuff like tons of veggies and pantry staples and then every night we have just made whatever sounds good. It's actually been really nice. I'll probably go back to more of a "plan" next week, but I've loved the spontaneity of this week.

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I finished Pride & Prejudice on Sunday and I was so sad to see it end. Sure, I struggled to get into the book but once I got used to the language and style of writing I absolutely loved it. If you haven't read it, you should. And give yourself some time to really get into it. The writing is so lovely and I found it to be so much more than just a "romance" novel. Now I am reading Frankenstein and it is blowing me away. I did not expect the writing to be so captivating and beautiful. I love it so far, which is not something I thought I'd ever say. With that said, I do feel a little book frustrated lately. I have this long list of "to read" but my library either doesn't carry the books I want or there is a wait for them. Don't you hate it when that happens?

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I have been thinking a lot about this job I have called mom and wife and caretaker of the house. While I have days where I want to hide in a corner and rock back and forth from the monotony and never endingness of my to-do list, most days I feel so thankful and...well...full. There is just something wonderful about tackling a mountain of dishes by hand and wiping the counters clean afterward, or soothing a crying baby and "flying" through the house with the best 2 year old I know, making a meal that not only nourishes the ones I love but tastes good too, folding clean clothes and ironing my husbands shirts while listening to NPR on Saturday mornings, or scrubbing the bathroom (my least favorite job of all) and feeling relief that I won't have to do that again for another week (or two, let's be honest). Sure, it's a job that never ends, and, like I said, I have days where I really want to run away and leave all the mess behind, but lately my heart is so full of gratitude for this season - for the opportunity to love my family with my time and labor. Life won't always look like this.

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Despite the beauty and mess of these days, I have also felt extremely weighed down by fear and anxiety. In some ways, I feel surrounded by death - some people we know and some we only know of have passed on and I feel the space they leave. Some have died too young and some at the end of a long and lovely life. I hate that as I get older I am more aware of all the ways that death can creep up and, truth be told, it scares me. I don't really know how to live without the fear of death - of the ones I love being taken from me or me being taken from the ones I love. All I know is that I'm constantly reminded to hug those precious ones every chance I get and to surrender my fears to Jesus.

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go for to You I entrust my life." Psalm 143: 8 

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We woke up to trees and lawns and cars covered in snow. After breakfast and steaming mugs of coffee (for the grown ups) and a tall sippy cup of cold soy milk (for the toddler) we bundled ourselves in coats and scarves and embarked on a snowy ("shnow!") adventure. Then back inside for the rest of Toy Story ("Butz!") and the thawing of cold toes and noses.






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And to round off this wonderful post of everything and nothing, here are some things I've been reading lately - things that make me feel all the feelings and inspire the heck out of me.

Use your words

Another mom shares her story - a different story - and it made me feel normal and thankful.

I read this secret on one of my darker days and it made me cry. Sometimes we need to know we're not alone.

Much love to you!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You write of things that so many young moms experience but don't have a place to share or feel heard. Thank you for your honest and loving thoughts and words. You are awesome. Love the snowman and the little girl that created it๐Ÿ˜‰

Jake Schroeder said...

Really enjoyed this Elizabeth. Your comments on feeling surrounded by death really resonated with me. I've been feeling pretty aware of and surrounded by death myself over the last month or so. I'm surprised by how much it can affect me. As you point out though, the Psalms and other scripture are so helpful. Lamentations 3:19-24 is a great one. Thanks for sharing.

Oh, also, Hannah said out of the blue this week that she wants to see Juni this summer. Sounds like a plan to me!