Weekend Ramblings

Do you ever have one of those weeks where it's just easier to not menu plan? That was this week for me. I sat down last Sunday night with my menu planning notebook and just hit a wall. So, instead of having a plan for every night, I went to the grocery store and bought a lot of general stuff like tons of veggies and pantry staples and then every night we have just made whatever sounds good. It's actually been really nice. I'll probably go back to more of a "plan" next week, but I've loved the spontaneity of this week.

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I finished Pride & Prejudice on Sunday and I was so sad to see it end. Sure, I struggled to get into the book but once I got used to the language and style of writing I absolutely loved it. If you haven't read it, you should. And give yourself some time to really get into it. The writing is so lovely and I found it to be so much more than just a "romance" novel. Now I am reading Frankenstein and it is blowing me away. I did not expect the writing to be so captivating and beautiful. I love it so far, which is not something I thought I'd ever say. With that said, I do feel a little book frustrated lately. I have this long list of "to read" but my library either doesn't carry the books I want or there is a wait for them. Don't you hate it when that happens?

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I have been thinking a lot about this job I have called mom and wife and caretaker of the house. While I have days where I want to hide in a corner and rock back and forth from the monotony and never endingness of my to-do list, most days I feel so thankful and...well...full. There is just something wonderful about tackling a mountain of dishes by hand and wiping the counters clean afterward, or soothing a crying baby and "flying" through the house with the best 2 year old I know, making a meal that not only nourishes the ones I love but tastes good too, folding clean clothes and ironing my husbands shirts while listening to NPR on Saturday mornings, or scrubbing the bathroom (my least favorite job of all) and feeling relief that I won't have to do that again for another week (or two, let's be honest). Sure, it's a job that never ends, and, like I said, I have days where I really want to run away and leave all the mess behind, but lately my heart is so full of gratitude for this season - for the opportunity to love my family with my time and labor. Life won't always look like this.

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Despite the beauty and mess of these days, I have also felt extremely weighed down by fear and anxiety. In some ways, I feel surrounded by death - some people we know and some we only know of have passed on and I feel the space they leave. Some have died too young and some at the end of a long and lovely life. I hate that as I get older I am more aware of all the ways that death can creep up and, truth be told, it scares me. I don't really know how to live without the fear of death - of the ones I love being taken from me or me being taken from the ones I love. All I know is that I'm constantly reminded to hug those precious ones every chance I get and to surrender my fears to Jesus.

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go for to You I entrust my life." Psalm 143: 8 

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We woke up to trees and lawns and cars covered in snow. After breakfast and steaming mugs of coffee (for the grown ups) and a tall sippy cup of cold soy milk (for the toddler) we bundled ourselves in coats and scarves and embarked on a snowy ("shnow!") adventure. Then back inside for the rest of Toy Story ("Butz!") and the thawing of cold toes and noses.

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And to round off this wonderful post of everything and nothing, here are some things I've been reading lately - things that make me feel all the feelings and inspire the heck out of me.

Use your words. 

Another mom shares her story - a different story - and it made me feel normal and thankful.

I read this secret on one of my darker days and it made me cry. Sometimes we need to know we're not alone.

Much love to you!

Review: Healthy Blueberry Muffins (for the toddler who won't eat anything else)

18 months, my friends, is a tumultuous age. I almost feel like I have a mini teenager in the house with all the emotional highs and lows.

While Juniper can still melt my heart with her toothy grin, she can also throw one impressive temper tantrum - in public no less. So far we have survived a tantrum in the library and a tantrum at the park in front of some new friends. I have to say that the latter was more humiliating and I had to fight back tears while my child screamed and kicked and the other child sat watching in quiet fascination and horror.

I have been told that consistency is the key - to keep on disciplining even if it seems like nothing is getting through. But it's hard. Really, really hard.

These days...these days are long and hard and wonderful. These days when she won't eat anything but bagels and cookies... these days when I catch her drawing on the floor, the walls, the kitchen cabinets... these days of pitching fits and then wanting nothing but to be held and cuddled... these days are all too fleeting.

Because these days can be full of a toddler's highs and lows, I have found it imperative to find a few things that lift the spirit. Added bonus if it also fills the tummy and accommodates the picky tastebuds of an 18-month-old.

These muffins are just the ticket.

Sure, they're still starchy and sweet (like a cookie), but unlike a cookie there are more of the good things and less of the bad things.

Here, she looks unsure about what she just put in her mouth.

Ahh, here we go!

I love a muffin that can put a smile on her sweet face.

If you have a picky toddler or if you just need a pick me up, try out these muffins. They are hearty, filling and somehow encouraging for the soul.

xo

Healthy Blueberry Muffins
From The Wednesday Chef

Makes 12 muffins

1 1/2 c all-purpose flour
1/4 c sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
1/4 c shredded unsweetened coconut
1 large egg
1 c cooked oatmeal
1/2 c whole milk (I used 1% organic and it worked fine)
2 Tbs unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly
1/4 c fresh or frozen blueberries
Preheat the oven to 400 F and butter a 12 cup muffin tin. Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and coconut in a large bowl.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg with the milk and butter. Then, with a fork, add the oatmeal and break up the clumps.

Combine the wet ingredients with the dry and then add the blueberries. Both times I have made this, the mixture was really, really thick. I find that it helps to use your hands to incorporate those last bits of coconut or flour in to the mix. Drop by spoonfuls into the prepared muffin pan and bake for 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Serve warm or at room temp. Apparently these are also perfect to freeze (after completely cooling of course) and heating up whenever the need or mood strikes.

Review: Homemade Play-Dough

Let's talk play dough.

Juniper is now at the age where she is mildly interested in the stuff; however, she has been known to, well...eat it. Disgusting, I know. I mean, what child does that? 

(insert sarcastic tone here if you didn't already pick up on it)

While the smell of store bought play-doh immediately takes me back to my own childhood, I really don't want Juni eating it. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's going to hurt her. It's just...well...it kind of makes me gag and since I'm not 100% sure that it isn't going to make her even the teensy-weensiest bit sick, I thought I should try my hand at some of the homemade stuff.

I tried this recipe about a month ago, and it smelled amazing. Rosemary play dough? Yes please! But it was so sticky. We're talking can't-even-get-it-out-of-the-plastic-bag sticky. After a few play time attempts I threw it out. It was too much hassle, frustrating rather than fun and Juni wasn't interested.

This morning I found this recipe. The only ingredient I was lacking was cream of tartar so Juni and I went to the grocery store to pick some up.

Um...can we talk for a second about how expensive cream of tartar is????? I didn't even look at the price when I picked it up. I mean, come on! It's such a tiny little jar. Yeah, tiny little jar of over $6. What??? So expensive. But a little goes a long way so hopefully I won't be buying this spendy little item for awhile.

Here are the ingredients you'll need for the best homemade play dough I've found:

Oh, you'll also need a really cute assistant who is great at giving the camera all kinds of attitude.

Work the camera, Juni! The camera loves you!

So you put all the ingredients except the food coloring in a 2 quart pot set over low to medium low heat. It looks really lumpy but that's okay. Just stir and stir and stir until it starts to thicken and then you add the food coloring. Then you stir some more until you can't stir anymore because it feels like your arm will fall off.

Then put it on some wax paper to cool.
I'm sad you can't really see the purple color. Next time I won't be so stingy with the color.

Oh, I should also note that this whole stove process took me like 5 minutes, if that. My arm wanted to fall off because the mixture got so thick it was difficult to keep it moving.

Now comes the big test...

Will she like it?
Will it be too sticky?
Will she still love me if her play dough dreams don't come true???

Just kidding on that last one.

Success. She was enamored with it for approximately 7 minutes - a record!

Oh, the attention spans of toddlerhood.

I may have over done it with the play dough pictures.

Oh well.

Here is the totally easy recipe! If you want more detailed instructions, head on over to Musings From a Stay at Home Mom. Her pictures and instructions are fantastic.

Ingredients

1 cup flour
1 cup water
2 tsp cream of tartar
1/3 cup salt
1 Tbs vegetable oil
food coloring

Mix all the ingredients in a 2 quart pot over low to medium low heat. Once it starts to thicken up, add the food coloring. Keep stirring until the mixture is really thick and gathers around the spoon. Remove the dough to waxed paper to cool.

Enjoy!

Eyes of Faith

The snow started to fall on Saturday morning. The flakes were small but consistent. I watched as my neighborhood was transformed from normal to wonderland, and my heart felt full.

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The baby and I enjoyed the glow of lights from our small tree and played while Harry Potter battled trolls and dragons in the background. Still my heart felt full but also distracted.

Despite the beauty of our cozy home, I felt discontentment and jealousy creep in. Instead of being still and soaking in the glow of Juniper's smile, I focused on the small screen in my hand and the pictures of other homes with better decorations and trees. Later, I was, I am, embarrassed that I let myself be distracted from the loveliness that is my home and my life.

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It is so easy for me to get wrapped up in the lives of others. To put more energy in watching and assuming what life is like for so-and-so. To get caught up in jealousy and envy at the good fortune of others. Why is it so hard for me shut off Facebook, Instagram or Twitter? Why do I focus so much on the perceived lives of others instead of marveling at the beautiful life I have been given?

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Yesterday morning I listened to an Imago Dei podcast from the first Sunday of Advent. I was so encouraged by the songs, the Scripture and the message. One question that stood out to me was:

In this Advent season what kind of eyes do you have? Natural eyes or eyes of faith? What distractions are keeping you from having eyes of faith?

Welp. Ain't that just so appropriate?

I decided that for this Advent season I need a break from so much social media (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram). I removed the Facebook and Twitter apps from my iPod Touch and I am going to try to check it less frequently. I want to be present in this season. I want to focus on my beautiful girl and really listen to her babbles because, as I'm always reminded, these days together are just too fleeting. I want to soak in the light from my tiny tree and breathe a prayer of thanks for a warm house and a roof over my head. I want to look for the Christ child and ponder His coming, and I want to be ready and waiting for His still small voice.

Happy Advent season my lovely friends.
Much love to you.

Lately...

Motherhood is exhausting. It is mind-numbing, hair-pulling, cry-my-eyes-out exhausting.

It is also beautiful, life changing, and the most wonderful job I have ever had. My heart swells when I see Juniper's eyes light up over a favorite book previously forgotten, over the tinkle of bells, and over the sight of my face or Forrest's. Her wobbly steps are getting more bold and her jibber jabber fills the house - even at 6am. She is a light and a joy - as well as a terror. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

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This happened on Saturday...

We have already decided we'll retake the class when it is offered in January. I am hoping that friendly exchanges with other moms will turn into play dates and coffee dates. Plus, Juniper didn't blow one bubble so I think it wouldn't hurt to keep working at it.

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This tea is my new best friend. It is mild and comforting. Sweet but not cloying. A perfect way to end the day cozied up with either a good book or a knitting project (more on the latter later).

Image retrieved from here

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I am lonely. Little things remind me of friendships that are states away - things like Catching Fire and the coming holiday season. Pictures fill my Instagram feed of friends laughing and spending time together and I just keep thinking - I should be there, but I'm here.

I'm trying, I'm really trying to put myself out there and make some gal-pals. But, it's hard, you know? Most of the women I have met are Mormon and I know I could/should get over my fear that somehow they'll convert me but something just holds me back.

We are the youngest couple by about ten years at our church and we love the opportunity to learn and socialize with the wiser and older crowd, but are we sacrificing something by not going to the church that is cool and has people our age? Is Juniper socialized enough by weekly story times and occasional cousin play dates? So many questions, so few answers.

Even though I am lonely, I am not depressed. My marriage gets sweeter every day, my daughter makes me laugh (and cry), friends that are states away pursue me through weekly phone calls and messages, and family is just a Skype call away. This season, this new place is teaching me contentment in all situations and my eyes are opened daily to the blessings present in my life.
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Thank you for listening, for reading. What are some of your lately's?

xo

13 Months

Juniper turned 13 months on Friday, and I want to tell you some of the funny stuff she's up to these days.

The church that we (finally) decided to attend here in Pocatello has a less than desirable nursery situation, so Juniper stays with us. We usually start the service in the sanctuary (at the very back) and sneak out near the sermon to hang out in the upstairs cry room which has some toys, comfortable chairs, and space to crawl around. Well, this Sunday we were in the sanctuary and the choir had just finished singing a song that was basically the word "amen" over and over. When they finished, Juniper sang out her own amen. It was precious but also hilarious, and I couldn't stop laughing. She has never said "amen" before and I was pretty sure that everyone heard it because her little voice echoed throughout the room. After the service, people kept coming up to us to say how wonderful and delightful it was to hear her singing. Since we are the youngest family there (by a good 10-15 years) I was relieved that everyone was so positive and happy by Juniper's singing and babbling.

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Every night Juniper takes a bath. While she certainly doesn't need a bath every day, it is a nice way to segue into bedtime. Anyway, for her birthday she got all kinds of fun bath toys - thanks, Aunt Annika - including a small basketball hoop and three balls. As you might have guessed, Forrest loves shooting hoops with Juni but it is usually him making baskets and Juniper watching. Recently, however, she has started putting the ball into the hoop and then watching as we cheer like crazy people. I'm talking about waving our arms in the air, shaking our heads and screaming "yes!" Crazy people, that's us.

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Sometimes after a nap, Juniper and I will cuddle on the couch together. Lately, she will hold my face in her hands and put her cheek to my face. Sigh. I love those moments.

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She is getting so feisty and independent. No walking yet, but I think it's coming pretty soon. Sometimes I just want to freeze these moments, but it is so fun to watch her grow and learn about the world around her.

xo,
Elizabeth

Happy Halloween!

I learned an important truth about myself yesterday. While I may make awesome birthday cakes, rock the gift giving and am generally a terrific mom, I am not gifted in creating Halloween costumes.

Someone gave me the idea of dressing Juniper up as a skunk for Halloween - a pretty clever idea, I thought! The execution, however, well...take a look for yourself...

Pumpkin Patch

On Saturday, my fall dreams came true.

A pumpkin patch huntin' did we go!

When we lived in Oregon (sob), we had a tradition every fall of going on the Hood River Fruit Loop. For one thing, it is a beautiful drive through leaves that are every shade of yellow, red and brown. For another thing, we always stop at a beautiful white house for wine tasting, Rasmussens for pumpkin picking and this other stand (I can't remember the name) for apple gathering. For the last thing, it is tradition and it pained my heart to not keep up the tradition this year.

The pumpkin patch we found near Pocatello was pretty darn cute. There was a hay ride out to the pumpkin field, a corn maze, tons of activities for kids and two greenhouses full of already picked pumpkins. This year, we forego the hay ride (Forrest is a tad allergic) and we got our pumpkins from the already picked pile.

We still had fun posing the little girl on the pumpkins, near the pumpkins, etc, etc.

Apparently we are those parents.

We have yet to carve up the large pumpkin, but I let Juni paint her little pumpkin. She lost interest pretty quick, but it was fun while it lasted.

How was your weekend?

Love,
Elizabeth